Happy New Year’s Eve…Dressember Style!

I have realized how very blessed I am.

You know…I knew, but now I know! Know what I mean?!

I have only worn a few of my dresses throughout the month more than once. Not because I had to, but because they are my favorites. I still have plenty of dresses in my closet, untouched. What’s really cool? Out of them all, I have only bought one or two myself. The rest have been gifted from someone else’s closet or picked up from thrift stores from a thoughtful friend.

There is more, though. I see so many people wanting this year to be over. Good riddance, they say! Not me! 2016, even with all it’s bad, has been a great year of learning, and I choose to accept those lessons and carry them into the new year.

From the person who refuses to do his financial and parental share in my life, I have learned to trust my family’s basic needs will be met. I have learned to appreciate my own parents’ roles in helping me parent my children. I have learned that some people will never change, so it is up to me to make changes within myself so that I am not bothered by people’s actions.

From another, I began to see my own self worth. I can almost see myself through his eyes now. Even my flaws are almost acceptable because I am beginning to understand that to some, that they don’t matter so much to others who love me. That unconditional love is blind. I don’t understand it, but it is so.

From yet another, I realized that I am indeed capable of loving again in an intimate way. I didn’t think it was possible after years and years of emotional abuse and neglect. I also learned that taking a risk, and experiencing heartbreak only makes me stronger, and more determined not to settle for anything less than I deserve. I learned that I am indeed worthy of receiving love in return for what I give. I learned that at the end of the day, if I love someone, their happiness matters more, and I truly hope they somehow find it, regardless of how they may have treated me.

Another person taught me to take time to play. Really play, letting go of all responsibility for a just a little while won’t make the world come to an end. I was shown how stubborn I am, and that receiving help doesn’t make me weak. I started to see what it must feel like to be a princess, as someone actually wanted to help clean up my messy, chaotic life, and made sure I had everything I could possibly want/need. I was truly blessed for his willingness to love, help, and accept me through health issues, through sorrow and grief upon deaths in my family, through sadness and anger in which I displayed tears, yelling and even cursing.

In 2016, I finally received a yoga teacher certificate after the desire planted itself inside some 20 years ago. I have discovered a peace that surpasses all understanding. I have experienced blissful joy. I have found empowerment in the company of other like-minded women, and experienced how powerful the divine feminine can be. I have realized fears, started taken action to make dreams come, and am now opening my heart to new opportunities, which without doubt will now come forth from my experiences of 2016.

I look back with no regrets. I look forward with great excitement! I will, however, remember to stay present, to be here now.

Peace to each of you in the new year. May you be filled with abundance in all ways.

Namaste, Nikki

Dressember Day Reflection on Connection

Connections. Little daily interactions with others. How often do we get so busy that we forget to stop and make others feel like they matter?

Christmas just passed, and I was not ready. My tree didn’t even get fully decorated! This year was different than most, though. I just didn’t seem to care so much about making everything as perfect as possible.

No, No! Don’t get me wrong! I care greatly about Christmas! It’s my favorite holiday. I don’t see that ever changing!

Something has changed though. I didn’t let the stuff of Christmas stress me out – the shopping, the materialism, the decorations. I had the most joyous and peaceful Christmas Day ever even though I had things on my mind!

Like those missing a loved one this year and those spending time alone. I was thinking about children being sold into slavery, beaten, tortured, and forced into sexual activity for human traffickers to make money. I was thinking about circumstances that might have led up to all that, and feeling extremely thankful to have a family filled with love! Oh yes! We drive each other crazy, but it’s our crazy!!

I was feeling my heart open to new experiences and new people, and I felt a deepening of already established relationships. I’ve had some awesome response and support from social media friends, many of which I’ve not had a chance to properly respond yet, and I’ve had great conversation from people who want to know why I’ve been wearing dresses every day.

The connections that have been most amazing have been with my Dressember Teammates. You see, where I’m from, women aren’t always very nice to each other. Gossip, backstabbing, jealousy…just a few of the biggest downers I personally experience.

Not with these beautiful ladies! They welcomed me to the team with open arms, and lifted me up and encouraged me every day. They offered support when I struggled and helped me over my fear hurdles. It has been awesome to connect with True Feminine Divine! There REALLY is something about putting on a dress that changes a girl!

It’s not too late to help A21 and IJM make a difference in someone’s life! They’ve made a difference in mine! Come on! Donate! You know you want to!

Namaste, Nikki

Another Dressember Day come and gone.

I look at this picture with much disappointment!!

I got distracted by a co-worker headed upstairs. I lost the mindful awareness of bringing asana into into my everyday activity. You know! Just for fun! Tree pose when brushing my teeth, Warrior III when washing my hands, chair is great at the water jug, hero pose works well playing on the floor with my grandson, legs up the wall to read a good book. Tadasana or Mountain Pose should be seen in this picture. But NO!! That sway in my lumbar spine means I forgot to watch my posture!! My commitment was broken.

Commitments get broken. You know what I’m talking about! I have had plans with a friend but friend suddenly can’t go when something more fun comes along.  People make promises and then walk away as if they never had any real any intention to keep them. Kid sports, music lessons, and other activities come and go as quickly as they change their minds about favorite foods and tv shows!

Oh no! I’m not broken-commitment-guilt-free!

I over-schedule and over-commit until I am so overwhelmed I get physically sick. I have hurt people’s feelings because I have no option other than withdrawing  into total isolation to recuperate and regroup. Try as I might, I don’t make it to my yoga mat every single night for X amount of time. Instead I might practice going deeper in downward dog on my potty breaks at work or practice yoga nidra or somatic meditation in bed. Good grief! I am hesitant to commit to window coverings, and even my commitment to Dressember wasn’t easy to follow through!

A21 and IJM are fully committed to raising awareness of human trafficking, helping to stop it, rescuing victims, and helping victims find a “New” life without trafficking trauma. I started “DRESSING” a few days late. Even so, what I learned was so horrific most of the toughest grown men wouldn’t be able to stomach. The folks over at A21 and IJM are committed day in and day out. Every Single Day! I can’t express my gratitude enough!

I’m already planning to to commit to Dressember 2017, and I sincerely hope you, Dear Reader, will consider joining our team!

Until next year, care to donate tax free?! Come on…you know you want to! 😏 Donate here ! PLEASE?!

Namaste, Nikki

Dressember…

Wow! What an experience this has been! I realized I’m actually sad it’s coming to an end!

I’m a reader. I love to study. I love research. I love to think. This is both good and bad. Good because I will be a forever student, and all the best (yoga) teachers are 😂 It’s bad because I can get too caught up in my head, thinking and overanalyzing, which has too often taken me out of my heart’s center.

That’s been impossible to do with Dressember! Raising awareness for human trafficking has opened my eyes to some horrific facts, many of which involve children. Young ones naturally already have my heart, but these particular ones involved in sex exchange…they need help, in the most desperate ways!! I cannot stand the thought of any one of these children continuing on being abused…and tortured for non-compliance.

The knowledge I’ve gained while studying statistics has created even more space in my heart, and I think it’s opening me up in other ways, too.

I remembered when I was young, I planned to go into psychology. I very specifically wanted to work with women and child victims of abuse, and those that suffered from addictions, too. I let Life get in my way, but never really lost that desire. I just buried it very, very deep!! Anyone with suggestions on how use my yoga passion to help, please, share! 😀

Tonight, though. I feel very blessed and very grateful to have had the opportunity to be a part of Team Sunflowers and Snow. It has given me an opportunity to take a stand for the very thing that I felt called to do so very long ago.

Thank you each and everyone for all you have done to support our team! Thank you for helping to raise awareness to how real the problem of human trafficking is! Thank you for being part of the effort to help bring slavery to an end! Thank you for your helping to rescue victims of human trafficking and providing access to healing!

It’s not too late to help A21 and IJM make a difference! Donate here!

Or simply keep on with your “Likes” and Shares!

**Logan, your commitment has been amazing!! Thank you for all those days you encouraged me to just take the photo already!! Thank you for your dedication and your time!

Namaste,

Nikki