It’s finally feeling like autumn here in East Tennessee. This season is the perfect time to let go of things that no longer serve a purpose in our lives.
I’m continuing to de-clutter my house, which has been an ongoing project for a several years now!
I have discovered how all this material clutter that surrounds me is directly related to my spiritual and emotional well-being.
As I mindfully clear away my unloved/unwanted possessions in baby steps, with the intention of creating more space and more simplicity for my family, my mind becomes more clear and calm. Stress levels starts to lessen. It works the other way, too. The more I take care of myself through prayer, meditation, my yoga practice, and rest, the better I feel and the more I get accomplished.
Yoga also helps when a difficult stored emotion surfaces as I’m decluttering. For example, I was a stay at home mom for 16 years. A couple of weeks ago, I boxed up craft supplies that haven’t been touched since I started working full time outside of the home.
I had chosen to leave my difficult marriage, which also meant giving up precious time with my children. My heart broke.
As I went through our craft stuff, I remembered how much fun we use to have sitting at the table making craft messes. Like that time I accidentally squirted a tube of sparking pink paint all over the wall! My daughter thought it was hilarious, so I didn’t even bother to clean it off. Our mark was left there for years until I did decide to paint the room.
With the good memories, also came the bad. I once again felt anger and resentment and bitterness toward my ex for everything he had ever put us through. I remembered how I struggled with the decision to be less available to my children during the day.
Now, my ex hasn’t lived I’m my house since November 7, 2010. I have already healed deeply from the wounds created from years of neglect and manipulation. I have come to terms that my ex will always be who he is and that a narcissistic personality cannot be changed.
However, I apparently needed to go deeper within, so this clearing clutter session created for me another healing session.
Yoga and meditation came afterward, and on my mat I found freedom to cry again and let my truest emotions, which I have often kept hidden, flow freely.
I was reminded that all of this decluttering is a process. Removing all the stuff that has taken a lifetime to accumulate, physically and mentally, will never magically go away.
Sure, I could just toss material belongings into the trash, and often I wish that was part of my personality.
I envy those people who seem to be able to just throw things away or walk away from situations they don’t like anymore. It might seem like they simply don’t care, but I’m beginning to think their wounds might have once been just as deep. Perhaps their lives are more in balance and they have had adequate support to get through their stuff.
One day, when my healing is nearing end, I will be that person. The one who can let things go with more ease. The one who finds freedom in a more simplified life.The one who finds stillness in the cleared space. The one who finds peace in unconditional love that’s allowed to grow there.
Until then, I will continue to invite my yoga practice to restore balance and act as my support through my detox period.
Yoga will help me, just as it has in the past, to be patient with myself and act toward others with a more a gracious and compassionate attitude.
I am breaking unhealthy habits and becoming the person I’m suppose to be. I’m thankful for all that has brought me here, even when I look around at the mess and want to run away screaming like a mad woman!
It’s a mess but it’s my life right now. It’s my story, and now I get to help write the ending.