I hope this finds you happy and well!
This past week has been quite difficult. Anxiety decided to become vicious all throughout my household. My ten year old son got bitten, then me, and my daughter had her share of it, too. While genetics may indeed play a part, for us, I believe we mostly infect each other energetically. We are all so in tune with one another, that our sensitivities often cause us to wonder whose stuff is really who’s. It is imperative that we each do our individual things to protect ourselves!
Here where I am in Good Ole East Tennessee, the temperatures have ranged 90-100 degrees daily, and the humidity creates a most suffocating effect. Very little rain, but quite a bit of wind has created a most unique atmosphere this summer. Not with the weather, but rather with my personality! As an Ayurvedic dosha personality type of Pitta-Vata I have been feeling rather crazy. Errr….crazier than usual, perhaps. My Pitta fiery part often chose to translate anxiety into anger, and my windy Vata part which created the anxiety to begin with took off like a hurricane. It certainly caused me to realize that my yoga practice has been too inconsistent lately!
The intensity of my dosha imbalance also created some issues with me physically. I fell ill with migraines and fibromyalgic pain, both of which I am still struggling to find relief.
What has triggered the anxiety? Thoughts of letting go of things that no longer serve me, creating changes in my home and relationships, starting something new, worries about disappointing others, kids going back to school and all their activities that come along with that, overwhelm at my 8-5 job, the never-ending piles of laundry…
It is just that simple. Life is stressful when it gets out of hand.
Of course, that is only as true as I allow it to be. This time anxiety attacked me with a vengeance. I had failed to be mindful and fell into a life-long habitual pattern of fight-or-flight.
The night I had a panic attack was what it took to wake me back up. It wasn’t the worst ever, but the first in a very long while. I had to make a decision to fight for me.
My fight is one that includes a practice of non-violence. I try to practice ahimsa, creating an atmosphere of forgiveness and gentleness toward myself. I try to give myself more “me” time, and try to get more rest. I have listened to music that encourages and inspires me, and I have reached out to others for their support. More than that. I have accepted their support.
I have a project due next week for which I needed to film today. I am part of an online yoga community, and the Founder/Yoga Teacher there has asked me to put together two week’s worth of her yoga practice videos along with my own video introductions to be published in our Membership Community. I won’t lie. I am not so fond of being in front of a camera. I like hiding behind my pen, paper, and computer screen where it is safe!
My lovely teacher…she knows this. She knows that my anxiety keeps me from yoga teaching opportunities. She knows I need a gentle push, and I am grateful that she is in my life! I feel beyond blessed to have the opportunity to practice stepping out my comfort zones in the atmosphere she provides which offers support, encouragement, and kindness.
My anxiety didn’t want to go away for me to film. I needed to practice yoga, but my exhausted, pain-filled body wasn’t up for a full practice before I needed to start filming. Several times I doubted that I could finish my video task. I had expressed my fear to this really awesome person whose encouraging words kept ringing in my head like the most beautiful mantra. Eventually I started believing that I was capable. To increase the good vibe intensity, I decided to work with a familiar mudra to help overcome anxiety. To see that, visit Prakrti Yoga’s Facebook page. Find it helpful or humorous. Either way, I hope it makes you feel better, too!
I still have work to do to complete my assignment, but my short videos did get filmed. Come see us starting next Sunday for two weeks of Daily Yoga Connection in the Membership Community of Dr. Melissa West, Namaste Yoga. We will be finishing up our monthly focus of anxiety relieving yoga (HA!), and I will be re-committing to my personal yoga practice.
May you be filled with all good things!
Love and Light,